Paul Friesen’s book “Ultimate Sacrifice” and the Gospel Missionary Union

Ultimate Sacrifice by Paul Friesen is a difficult story of pain suffered through the generations of a family.   When I read this book I feel not so much that I am being told the story by Paul today, but that the child, and the teenager, and the young man of the past are telling me the story themselves from their own unique perspectives.  Paul Friesen’s parents were missionaries with the Gospel Missionary Union (now called Avant Ministries) and Paul attended the Mamou Alliance Academy and Ivory Coast Academy boarding schools.

The legacy of the grandfather who was tortured for his beliefs placed a huge burden upon Paul’s father, who chose the missionary life of self-denial and sacrifice.  At first the children stayed in Canada in a mission boarding home, and then when Paul was very young his mother died, sending the family into a tailspin.  Paul’s grieving father had little time or emotion to spare for his kids.  Soon there was another “Servant Bride” taking the place of mother, and this time the whole family traveled back to Africa and the children were enrolled in Mamou Alliance Academy.

This was just a descent of an already wounded child downwards into a world of pain and terror.  Life at Mamou was rigid rules and harsh punishments, isolation from family, and vivid nightmares.  A six year old was not able to live up to expectations and gain the attention he needed, either from adults or the other kids, who teased and tormented him.  We all had our ways of coping with boarding school life.  I tried to make myself as quiet and insignificant as possible.  We learned to behave much better than children normally need to behave.  There were always a few kids though, and usually boys, who couldn’t contain their anger or couldn’t conform, and tested the system.   These boys attracted the abusive attention of both staff and kids, and had serious and long-lasting damage.  Because of his anger, his unmet emotional and developmental needs, Paul was unable to stop his behaviour even when he knew the consequences it was bringing down on his head.  Who could help and guide a child in that situation?  Not his parents, who were absent and detached, not his sisters who were separated from him, and sadly not any of the adults who were taking care of him at boarding school.

Furloughs in Canada were just as bad, as the family lived in poverty, at one point with no heat or inside plumbing.  Paul was even more of an outsider in the Canadian school, and bullied by both the other kids and by some of the teachers.  There was no help or relief for this boy.  If he felt hopeful about a change in his life, you can bet his situation would only end up getting worse.

Eventually parents stopped sending kids to Mamou because of the political situation, and he transfered to Ivory Coast Academy.  This school (later renamed International Christian Academy) was owned by Conservative Baptist International (CBI), however GMU had their own dorm on campus run by GMU missionary staff.  The children in this school were devious and cruel on an advanced scale, and roved in gangs preying on the younger kids, who sometimes carried knives to defend themselves.  In 1976, before he returned home to Canada, Paul was invited to testify before the Field Board at the GMU Annual Field Conference, to describe what ICA had been like.  Apparently the mission was worried by the reports of nervous breakdowns and attempted suicides by children attending ICA.  Paul describes the missionaries on the Board as largely a group of ignorant people who did not really want to know or accept what was going on.

Paul survived this abusive childhood and returned to Canada to begin college and adult life.  Paul says “On the outside all was rosy.  Always smiles and happy.  On the inside an animal was trying to become unleashed.” There were social difficulties, pent up emotions and anger, theological differences with the Church, anger at people who refused to see and accept the truth of what has been happening on the mission field, depression, financial difficulties and finally the collapse of his marriage.

Around this time the Mamou investigations were in full swing and Paul was able to reconnect with other MKs and share experiences with them.  The Mamou MKs had fought long and hard to get Christian and Missionary Alliance to acknowledge abuse, and were finally getting an investigation, and apology, and some restorative measures.  But Gospel Missionary Union (now Avant Ministries) continued to turn a blind eye to their MKs, refusing to participate in the Mamou investigation, even though they sent children to that school.  They were invited to attend retreats for the victims after the investigation ended, but they declined, even though many of their MKs were victims at Mamou.  They did not offer any counseling services to their MKs who were abused.

We know that GMU received reports of abuse at Ivory Coast Academy as early as 1976 (Paul’s appearance before the board), and took no action.   In fact GMU ignored reports of abuse at their ICA dorm for years.   You can read more about this in a 2001 article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer.  One of the staff named in the article as an abuser, Carl Schumacher, is also mentioned as one of Paul’s dorm parents in Ultimate Sacrifice.

 In 2001 the Conservative Baptist International mission took action on the abuse allegations – they felt a responsibility since they were running the Academy, even though the abuse occurred in a GMU dorm.  Professional mediators met separately with the victims and officials of the Gospel Missionary Union and Conservative Baptists.  To my knowledge the results of these meetings were never publicized.  Scott Harris, the current Vice President of Field Ministries for Avant (formerly GMU), says this: “Top leaders of the mission including the exiting President, new President, CFO, Chairman of the International Board of Directors and two members of the International Board, sat down with a group of abuse victims, listened to their stories and submitted to mediation.  The mission then offered to pay for counseling expenses for the victims, some of whom accepted the offer.  In at least one case, we extended our assistance for counseling beyond the agreed period.  There was also a formal statement issued at that time, which I have been unable to locate as I prepared to write you.”

Was that statement issued publicly?  Were perpetrators named, and what kind of consequences did they receive?  Are any of those perpetrators still employed by the mission?  This is another example of a mission being forced into action to confront abuse, and then coming up with an inadequate response.

Its always great when a story has an ending of hope and healing, but I sense this is not the case for Paul, and probably not for other GMU MKs who suffered abuse in boarding schools.  Yes, a victim needs to want to be healed, and it would be wonderful if all abused MKs could travel that path.  But when the mission who call themselves “family” and the abusers themselves deny and refuse to acknowledge the abuse, that only creates more and more anger, not healing.  MKs were a sacrifice on the mission field, and we continue to be sacrificed in order to protect the reputations and finances of our missions.


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5 thoughts on “Paul Friesen’s book “Ultimate Sacrifice” and the Gospel Missionary Union

  1. Pingback: Speaking Out About Abuse at International Christian Academy | SIM Missionary Kid Survivors

  2. I have not read this book yet but as an MK from Canada who attended ICA from 1979-1990 I need readers to understand this was NOT the case for most of us that are extremely thankful to the dormparents and staff at ICA and incredible friends that poured into our lives love and support… no upbringing is perfect but I thank God for mine.
    I am sorry for the pain and scars Paul is living with and I pray for healing.

    • Thanks for letting us know about your experience, Dee. I just want to note that Paul left ICA in 1976, so that was three years before you started attending. I can only hope that they had changed their policies by that time and students really were having a better experience. However the abuse that occurred in that earlier time frame at both ICA and Mamou is very well documented. It wasn’t just an “imperfect upbringing”, it was sexual abuse and, really, torture and humiliation of the kids. That’s the only way to put it. It DID happen and to a large number of kids. I am glad things were better by the time you attended ICA.

  3. Pingback: Friesen children | Jamierossphoto

  4. Wow………….thanks for posting this Elizabeth. I know a family whose children were left behind at the Canadian boarding school………the parents were on the mission field with us………..sad situation. In the end, the children forgave their parents but it took a lifetime……….the parents are no longer living. Also had a friend who went to ICA and I have heard the same things……….when they moved back to the States, their lives spiraled out of control……I almost went there after KA but changed my mind at the last minute. What people don’t understand is that these injured children grow up to be injured adults who spend a lifetime trying to heal, sometimes hurting those closest to them. I can say that because I have experienced some of the worst kind of pain from one that went to ICA…………………..tragic how the cycle is never ending until those responsible stand up and acknowledge unconditionally the wrongs committed against missionary children!

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