Do You Have Something to Say?

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3 thoughts on “Do You Have Something to Say?

  1. I was with your husband during grades one to three. Thanks for sharing about his experience. I know he got punished a lot. I am so sorry about that. I didn’t see the punishment administered, but I’d see him crying afterword: I’m sure it was painful and scary. I think all of us kids were horrified. He was always getting in trouble. I liived my time there in fear of the strap so I was more cautious and avoided a lot of punishment. I’m sorry I never did anything to help Danny, I’m sure he could confirm that. I was actually jealous of his encyclopedic knowledge which made me feel competitive with him, being mean to him sometimes. I’m really sorry about that too and I hope it is not his memory of me. I do recall sharing an apple I received from my parents with him and all of us grade one boys up in the tree house . I left KA when I was 8 yrs old and returned with my family to Canada. I got counseling help about 25 years ago and have been able to close this very short part of my life. A discussion with my sister caused me to look up KA on the Internet and I found your comments.

  2. I entered this previously but I don’t know if it got posted.

    My husband was adopted just after birth by missionaries. When he was nine months old he was with his mom and dad in Nigeria. My husband went to Kent Academy from age six onto the seventh grade.

    I have tried to understand what my husband went through and because of the way I was brought up I can empathize with him regarding his childhood which was lonely. My husband was “dropped off” at the school at age six having no understanding at all that this was going to be home for the most part of his school years.

    My husband has confided in me, (as well as his parents) of the sexual, emotional, physical, mental and spiritual abuse he suffered at the hands of the people who were looking after him.

    His parents did not believe him when he tried to explain what was going on at the school. So the abuse continued on.

    My husband grew up being very angry with questions as to why his adoptive parents sent him away. That perhaps the reason he was adopted was due to him not being worthy of having a family..

    Today I googled “abuse at Kent Academy” and came across this blog. My husband cried when he read some of the stories, and perhaps for the first time the cruelty that he lived with was finally validated.

    So ignorant were his parents that they actually invited the very people that abused him to come over to the house.

    I might add as well that I feel when neglect is noticed such as this by outsiders, ex. extended family and so on that the disrespect continues and the validation so much needed is not extended to the abuse victim. What I mean is that his parents who were so subservient to the mission field actually gave the impression to the “outside” that they were easy to walk all over and not respect.

    The reason I say this is because my husbands mother was my best friend, even though she was almost three times my age. Because they were so dedicated to God which I do admire, they didn’t look after themselves or their son by dressing him properly, or recognizing that the world has moved on and things were different. They didn’t have to keep up with the people next door, no one does but we do have to live in this world and what we show on the outside reflects on how we are going to be treated. I witnessed to that fact. My in-laws were always afraid of authority and SIM. They were afraid (my father-in law voiced) that their pension would be cut off.

    My husband didn’t see the love of God. My dear friend who has now passed, (mother-in-law) mentioned to me that her little boy was sitting outside while she was tending an African, another missionary heard him ask God, “please God will you tell my mommy that she has a little boy out here) which broke my heart but, my mother-in-law didn’t seem to “get” what was actually happening as she thought this was so cute to hear from a little boy. My husband questions everything about God. I don’t blame him. The fact is now that he is in his late forty’s and he is still suffering from his past, how can he get healed? I have encouraged him to write, and that is what he is doing. I would hope that he will write a book and that it would get published. The world needs to know.

    Many peoples’ story get heard. Why shouldn’t his.

    We cannot be afraid to “hurt” other people or expose what was done in secret. The truth needs to be known in order for people to be set free. We all have pain,. we all need to be heard, validated. We can’t keep on Saying that God knows the plans He has for us because if this was one of His plans, something is really wrong here.

    • Hi Marie, I looked through the comments to see if your previous post was on another page. I am sorry if it got lost! So sorry and sad to hear your husband’s story. I am glad he found this site and can see that others experienced the same thing. His treatment by his parents and by Kent Academy is not a reflection on his own self worth, but on the adults who were charged with taking care of him. Adopting a child and then sending them to boarding school? REALLY?? All of the things you are saying about your son’s parents ring true. And sadly many SIM missionaries are very much worried about their pensions. I think this pressure also keeps their kids quiet. Very few people will speak up at this point in time, but believe me there are lots of hurting SIM MKs out there. I hope your husband will keep writing his story and not be discouraged. It is never too late for healing to come, and it is also a slow process. You might contact MKSafetyNet for resources and possibly even help with getting your husbands story out there or however else you decide to pursue this.

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