Patrick’s Story, and an Opportunity to Help

Recently a former MK contacted me to tell me about his struggle with traumatic experiences in his past, and his goal to get a psychiatric service dog to help with his symptoms of PTSD. There is an opportunity to help if anyone is so inclined.

Patrick Murphy led a whirlwind life while he was growing up. His parents were with YWAM (Youth With a Mission). Beginning when he was in grade school, he lived in Haiti, Japan, the Philippines and Indonesia. This doesn’t count time spent living in Hawaii while in training. In Penang, Malaysia, Patrick went to a boarding school called Dalat.

Dalat was originally a Christian and Missionary Alliance boarding school. In 1999 C&MA decided to close the school and another group took it on, turning it into an independent school that serves the ex-pat business community in Penang. Dalat shares a history of reported abuse along with other Alliance boarding schools such as Mamou Alliance Academy, which was featured in the documentary “All God’s Children”, Bongolo School in Gabon, and Zamboanga School in the Philippines.

While living in Indonesia as a young teen Patrick survived several near kidnappings and was mixed up in transporting drugs for a local mafia, during which he witnessed the killing of a close friend. He was living on the island of Lombok In January of 2000 when thousands of Muslims rampaged through the towns, wielding machetes and torching Christian churches. Patrick and his family had to flee the country. A few days after the riots Patrick and his sisters were sent back to Penang to attend Dalat.

Patrick did not do well at boarding school, and was assaulted by a teacher, so his parents sent him back to the States to live with an aunt in New York until the whole family returned a year and a half later. The life-threatening violence and fear that Patrick experienced growing up had a lasting effect on him.

Patrick is now a husband and father, and still suffers the crippling effects of PTSD. He experiences flashbacks, panic attacks and sudden speech impairment. He and his wife heard about how beneficial a psychiatric service dog can be for people in his situation. A psychiatric service dog is different from a regular service dog, and can be very expensive to raise and train from a qualified breeder. Health insurance does not cover these costs, and it is difficult to find help if you are not a veteran. 

Here are Patrick’s own words  “For those unfamiliar with the process of getting and training a service dog, it is a very expensive journey to pursue and health insurance does not cover any of the costs, despite the fact one must legally qualify in order to have one. Many who qualify for psychiatric service dogs struggle to get one because there are no resources for those who are not veterans. It is expensive to adopt a service dog candidate from a breeder with a proven track record and even more expensive to pay for the 2 years of training it takes to fully train a service dog. We knew this when we first embarked on this journey last year and have trusted that God would provide, as he has always has.

With the coming news of a puppy being born in May, we are reaching out to ask for support. While it is humbling to do so, we truly believe this is the right path to take to for me and for my family. We are hoping to raise $3400, which is a little over half of the costs of adopting a service dog candidate puppy and 2 years of training.

Cost of adopting our service dog candidate puppy: $2500.

Cost of service dog training over the first 2 years: $4000

We are hoping to raise this support by June 25th. Would you be willing to bless us with your support?”

Patrick has a fundraising page at http://www.gofundme.com/servicedog4patrick. You can find a lot more details there about the costs of the dog, plus a link to his family blog and a way to contact him. He explains the many ways a psychiatric service dog can help in a panic situation. I actually think I need one to ride with me on elevators! Can you relate to Patrick’s story? Feel free to comment and ask questions here.

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Speaking Out About Abuse at International Christian Academy

I would like to share an open letter written by an International Christian Academy alumni to Christian and Missionary Alliance Leadership and employees.

ICA used to be known as Ivory Coast Academy when it was founded by the Conservative Baptist Foreign Mission Society in 1962. Christian and Missionary Alliance partnered with CBFMS in the building and operation of ICA, to provide an alternative to their boarding school at the time in Guinea, which was Mamou. Other missions, including SIM, sent students there over the years. The school was renamed International Christian Academy in 1990. Read more about the early history of this school.

Gospel Missionary Union had their own dorm at ICA, and Paul Friesen has written about his experiences there in the book “Ultimate Sacrifice.”

An article in the Plain Dealer in 2010 told the stories of more children abused at Mamou and ICA.

Now, a strong, new voice has joined the others in speaking out about abuse at this school. India Baker was almost 12 years old when she arrived at ICA. During the five or so years that she attended, she was subjected to physical, emotional and spiritual abuse, She endured sexual assault, witnessed others being abused, and saw the blatant cover-up when these things were reported to the staff.

India writes “See, I was taught that children should be seen and not heard.  I was taught that God hated me.  I was taught that I was a worthless sinful being and that I was not worth time, nor attention.  The church is STILL teaching every child and adult  that has ever experienced these things that same lesson by refusing to bring the abusers to justice. In the United States of America it is illegal to abuse a child. So why is it okay for the church to cover this up?”

Why indeed? Churches and missions claim it would be harmful to their ministry and create confusion among supporters if information like this gets out. We all know it would really be harmful to their financial bottom line and jobs and reputations would be in jeopardy.

I urge you to read and share India’s open letter to Christian and Missionary Alliance.

 

 

Abused MKs and the Question of Compensation

I hear more and more that people believe abused MKs are only out for the money. Nussbaum and Sidebotham made it a premise of the article they published back in June of 2011.  This article with its rather twisted logic claimed that Protestant Ministries have become a new market for MKs who are all out to get a large sum of money as compensation for their abuse.  Nussbaum has a great deal of influence in the missionary community, since he is legal counsel for the Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI), and also for Christian and Missionary Alliance and no doubt for other missions.  On top of that ACSI is a member of the Child Safety and Protection Network (CSPN), which bills itself as a collaborative network of mission agencies, faith based NGOs and international Christian schools intentionally and strategically addressing the issues of child protection.  Many, probably most, of the missions we discuss on this blog, including SIM, are members of CSPN, attending their conferences and working with them in some capacity.  We all know missions today have a heavy reliance on lawyers, and are greatly concerned about their liability.  When misinformation like that in the Nussbaum article is being passed on to missions is it any wonder that they become hostile and defensive when an MK comes forward with allegations of abuse?

Now, several MKs have spoken out and disagreed with the assertion that we are all out to get large amounts of money.  I think it is true that most MKs are not interested in compensation, but rather in having their experiences acknowledged and validated, and having the perpetrators dismissed from the mission.  But is any of this really even what we should be discussing? My feeling is that it is just a tactic to throw blame back onto the MK, to make it seem like they are the “bad guys” for wanting compensation.  When we all start debating why MKs are opening investigations, we lose sight of the real issue, which is the abuse that happened in the first place.

So what if an MK wants monetary compensation for abuse they suffered in the past? I know MKs who have spent thousands on counseling and medical fees out of their own pockets, who have been unable to earn a steady income because of the effects of abuse, and who missed their chance at education and proper training because they had NO support when they were young adults fresh home from the mission field.  If someone added up all the costs associated with abuse that occurred to SIM MKs, it would be pretty staggering.  And yet the fact that they would ask for compensation is such a bad thing that lawyers are writing up papers about it!  Shouldn’t they be focusing instead on the fact that many perpetrators are still on the mission payrolls, and still out there in the community working with children and putting them in harm’s way?

Whether the goal of an abused MK is to get an apology or to get compensation does not matter. The fact is that they are the victim, they are not the one who has done something wrong.

Lets take the blame off the abused MKs and put it right back where it belongs, on the shoulders of the missionaries who caused so much trauma and heartache for children under their care, and the missions who are refusing to do anything about it.

Missionary Kids Speak Out in CBN News Interview

Three MKs who were abused on the mission field spoke out in an interview which was aired today on CBN News.  You can watch the interview on their web site.  Kari Mikitson is a New Tribes Mission MK who was sexually abused at a boarding school in Senegal.  Wes Stafford attended Mamou Alliance Academy, the school featured in the documentary All God’s Children.  Susannah Baker is an ABWE MK who was abused in the 60s and 70s while she was living with her family on a missionary compound in Bangladesh, by an ABWE missionary doctor.  Boz Tchvidjian, who heads up the GRACE organization which conducts abuse investigations, also appears in this interview.

I applaud all of these people for speaking out about their experiences, and helping to bring to light these things which mission organizations have been trying to keep secret.

I just want to say that even though the lead-in announcer says “those reports are now being investigated,” that is not completely true.  All the reports of abuse are not being investigated.  For example, I am not aware of any investigations going on at SIM right now, but I know of many reports of abuse that occurred at SIM boarding schools.

In fact, it saddens me that SIM is not included in the stories of abuse investigations, and not included in the list of resources that are offered at the bottom of the story on the CBN web site.  I think this is because there is no “official documentaton” of abuse at SIM schools, because whatever investigations have been conducted are being successfully kept confidential.

Way to go, SIM!  You have managed to keep yourself off the radar for this particular news story.

Because SIM was not mentioned in this story, should we assume there was no abuse at SIM boarding schools?  No, because I personally know of many MKs who were abused at SIM boarding schools.  I know of investigations that were started and then thrown on the findings inconclusive pile because the victim could not jump through all the impossible hoops that were presented.  I know SIM asks for a confidentiality agreement so that no one knows about the perpetrator, the abuse, the consequences, or that an investigation even took place.

The secrecy and refusal of SIM to acknowledge what went on in their schools is creating life long consequences for the victims, and also allowing the perpetrators to continue on with no accountability for what they have done, possibly racking up more and more victims over the years.

Paul Friesen’s book “Ultimate Sacrifice” and the Gospel Missionary Union

Ultimate Sacrifice by Paul Friesen is a difficult story of pain suffered through the generations of a family.   When I read this book I feel not so much that I am being told the story by Paul today, but that the child, and the teenager, and the young man of the past are telling me the story themselves from their own unique perspectives.  Paul Friesen’s parents were missionaries with the Gospel Missionary Union (now called Avant Ministries) and Paul attended the Mamou Alliance Academy and Ivory Coast Academy boarding schools.

The legacy of the grandfather who was tortured for his beliefs placed a huge burden upon Paul’s father, who chose the missionary life of self-denial and sacrifice.  At first the children stayed in Canada in a mission boarding home, and then when Paul was very young his mother died, sending the family into a tailspin.  Paul’s grieving father had little time or emotion to spare for his kids.  Soon there was another “Servant Bride” taking the place of mother, and this time the whole family traveled back to Africa and the children were enrolled in Mamou Alliance Academy.

This was just a descent of an already wounded child downwards into a world of pain and terror.  Life at Mamou was rigid rules and harsh punishments, isolation from family, and vivid nightmares.  A six year old was not able to live up to expectations and gain the attention he needed, either from adults or the other kids, who teased and tormented him.  We all had our ways of coping with boarding school life.  I tried to make myself as quiet and insignificant as possible.  We learned to behave much better than children normally need to behave.  There were always a few kids though, and usually boys, who couldn’t contain their anger or couldn’t conform, and tested the system.   These boys attracted the abusive attention of both staff and kids, and had serious and long-lasting damage.  Because of his anger, his unmet emotional and developmental needs, Paul was unable to stop his behaviour even when he knew the consequences it was bringing down on his head.  Who could help and guide a child in that situation?  Not his parents, who were absent and detached, not his sisters who were separated from him, and sadly not any of the adults who were taking care of him at boarding school.

Furloughs in Canada were just as bad, as the family lived in poverty, at one point with no heat or inside plumbing.  Paul was even more of an outsider in the Canadian school, and bullied by both the other kids and by some of the teachers.  There was no help or relief for this boy.  If he felt hopeful about a change in his life, you can bet his situation would only end up getting worse.

Eventually parents stopped sending kids to Mamou because of the political situation, and he transfered to Ivory Coast Academy.  This school (later renamed International Christian Academy) was owned by Conservative Baptist International (CBI), however GMU had their own dorm on campus run by GMU missionary staff.  The children in this school were devious and cruel on an advanced scale, and roved in gangs preying on the younger kids, who sometimes carried knives to defend themselves.  In 1976, before he returned home to Canada, Paul was invited to testify before the Field Board at the GMU Annual Field Conference, to describe what ICA had been like.  Apparently the mission was worried by the reports of nervous breakdowns and attempted suicides by children attending ICA.  Paul describes the missionaries on the Board as largely a group of ignorant people who did not really want to know or accept what was going on.

Paul survived this abusive childhood and returned to Canada to begin college and adult life.  Paul says “On the outside all was rosy.  Always smiles and happy.  On the inside an animal was trying to become unleashed.” There were social difficulties, pent up emotions and anger, theological differences with the Church, anger at people who refused to see and accept the truth of what has been happening on the mission field, depression, financial difficulties and finally the collapse of his marriage.

Around this time the Mamou investigations were in full swing and Paul was able to reconnect with other MKs and share experiences with them.  The Mamou MKs had fought long and hard to get Christian and Missionary Alliance to acknowledge abuse, and were finally getting an investigation, and apology, and some restorative measures.  But Gospel Missionary Union (now Avant Ministries) continued to turn a blind eye to their MKs, refusing to participate in the Mamou investigation, even though they sent children to that school.  They were invited to attend retreats for the victims after the investigation ended, but they declined, even though many of their MKs were victims at Mamou.  They did not offer any counseling services to their MKs who were abused.

We know that GMU received reports of abuse at Ivory Coast Academy as early as 1976 (Paul’s appearance before the board), and took no action.   In fact GMU ignored reports of abuse at their ICA dorm for years.   You can read more about this in a 2001 article in the Cleveland Plain Dealer.  One of the staff named in the article as an abuser, Carl Schumacher, is also mentioned as one of Paul’s dorm parents in Ultimate Sacrifice.

 In 2001 the Conservative Baptist International mission took action on the abuse allegations – they felt a responsibility since they were running the Academy, even though the abuse occurred in a GMU dorm.  Professional mediators met separately with the victims and officials of the Gospel Missionary Union and Conservative Baptists.  To my knowledge the results of these meetings were never publicized.  Scott Harris, the current Vice President of Field Ministries for Avant (formerly GMU), says this: “Top leaders of the mission including the exiting President, new President, CFO, Chairman of the International Board of Directors and two members of the International Board, sat down with a group of abuse victims, listened to their stories and submitted to mediation.  The mission then offered to pay for counseling expenses for the victims, some of whom accepted the offer.  In at least one case, we extended our assistance for counseling beyond the agreed period.  There was also a formal statement issued at that time, which I have been unable to locate as I prepared to write you.”

Was that statement issued publicly?  Were perpetrators named, and what kind of consequences did they receive?  Are any of those perpetrators still employed by the mission?  This is another example of a mission being forced into action to confront abuse, and then coming up with an inadequate response.

Its always great when a story has an ending of hope and healing, but I sense this is not the case for Paul, and probably not for other GMU MKs who suffered abuse in boarding schools.  Yes, a victim needs to want to be healed, and it would be wonderful if all abused MKs could travel that path.  But when the mission who call themselves “family” and the abusers themselves deny and refuse to acknowledge the abuse, that only creates more and more anger, not healing.  MKs were a sacrifice on the mission field, and we continue to be sacrificed in order to protect the reputations and finances of our missions.


The Struggle of the Mamou MKs

The documentary All God’s Children, about abuse at Mamou Alliance Academy is full of shocking experiences.  There are stories of sadistic teachers, spiritual and emotional abuse, forced separation of siblings, rape and beatings.  I also attended a mission boarding school in West Africa. At my school we had our own sadistic teachers, spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, separation of siblings, rape and beatings, so none of that was a great surprise.  What I found more shocking in this documentary is the way the situation was handled by Christian and Missionary Alliance from the time that MKs first came forward and even after the investigation found staff members guilty of abuse.

You may think that C&MA deserves a pat on the back for being the very first mission organization to investigate abuse at one of their boarding schools, but in reality the MKs struggled for years to get action.   When a handful of MKs first approached C&MA and told them about the abuse that had occurred, they were met with evasion and lies.  For ten years they contacted the mission through letters and phone calls.  Peter Nanfelt, the VP for Division of Overseas Ministries, told them “I’m too busy to address these issues.”  They were told that their problem of being abused was minor in the light of what C&MA was doing for the rest of the world.

Finally when the media began to pick up the story, C&MA was publicly shamed into taking action.  In fact, the Board of Managers took control of the issue and began searching for individuals to serve on the Independent Commission of Inquiry that investigated the school.  Eighty MKs came forward to testify to the ICI.  The process for at least some of the MKs was extremely stressful.  After the investigation, the findings were turned over to C&MA exclusively, and for a while they tried to withhold information from the MKs and the public, specifically the “need to know” section of the report.  (Eventually the MKs did get this part of the report and you can read it on the Missionary Kids Safety Net web site.)

The ICI found eight staff members guilty of abuse.  Some of these people were no longer connected with the mission, and the mission claimed they had no jurisdiction over them, so these people received no consequences for their actions.  Three of the boarding school staff had formal disciplinary hearings.  For the staff who denied the actions or who refused to cooperate, no action was taken.  No legal charges were brought against any of the abusers. One particular abuser accused of rape was still employed by C&MA at the time of the filming.  Although he had other victims, they have refused to testify out of fear of his threats to kill them if they told anyone the story, and there is no corroborating evidence for his crime.  As the icing on the cake, the C&MA sent a letter to each of the Mamou staff apologizing to them for tainting their names in the investigation, and thanking them for their hard work at Mamou!

Is it any wonder that some of these MKs are still struggling with anger and wounds that will not heal?